I’ve been heavily burdened lately with pulling together the broad view of serving God.
Often I have said that discovering and laying claim to your sexual identity is one of the best starting points for embracing God’s Laws (AKA divine justice, moral wisdom, etc.). My readers know that means studying something usually called “Game,” as in Game Theory of Socio-sexual Human Response. Only in sterile theoretical discussions can you slice human sexuality out of the broader social context, and that is precisely what makes it all fall under discussions of how to walk in God’s revelation. His Laws are how He wants people to live in this fallen world.
Embracing His Laws means finding your place in His Creation, so embracing your God-given sexual identity is right there in the foundation or you can’t build much. Even for called celibates, you still have to be what God made you to be in terms of distinctly male or female. Celibacy is no sacrifice if you aren’t having to turn away from sexual overtures. God intends we reach for our best representation of what makes others desire to be with us. Gender confusion is not from God. We surely struggle against the false mythology of Western notions about gender and sexual identity, but it’s not a matter of tossing aside all gender differentiation. It’s a matter of fixing the broken models.
To build a worthy romance requires you first claim God’s promise in sexual design. We are all shepherds of the domain He gives us; that is the model God chose for His most noteworthy servants. There are powerful distinctions between shepherd and shepherdess, but the goals are quite similar. The differences are hard-wired and characteristic of our gender. You have to discern that model revealed in Scripture. I’ve written in depth about this in some of my books. Very specifically it’s the whole point in A Christian Guide to the Sexual Marketplace, but it looms large in both Biblical Morality and in A Course in Biblical Mysticism. It naturally would show up in all of my fiction works. You can’t claim the best God has to offer for yourself if you have no plans to make yourself available as His gift to others.
Guys, finding a worthy gal in America in particular, and more broadly throughout the Western world, is becoming more difficult. That is, while there remains a large number who can be nudged in the right direction, they are generally farther from it than ever before. A great many will prove wholly intractable. Just the bare facts of Game as taught on many blogs will prove that point. The large body of discussion on what it takes to truly understand and get what you want from a female should indicate how deep the wider psychosis is. To then move farther into God’s purpose in marriage is really a major struggle. It’s not that we lack for women who believe they want what God wants, but that churches participate in keeping things confused. Thus, the task for men is to remain sensitive to God’s leading when He brings to your attention a woman worthy of the struggle.
Women will vary all over the map on how far and in what direction they stand away from the biblical model, just as we men do. If you can look in the mirror and realize how much work it was moving you into the godly shepherd role, you can only be merciful when considering how thoroughly confused a woman would be. Worse, you can scarcely keep what you’ve gained in moral progress with the world pulling you in all directions, never mind getting even farther down the path of righteousness. We can explain some of the lies; building a better model is really tough. We live in a world where the imagery of Scripture is truly difficult to apply because our world is so utterly alien to God’s ideal, and we who discover obedience become truly alien to the rest of humanity.
So it’s tough for your sisters, too, men. The rise of the “red pill” sites are only a partial solution because they all seem so deeply and stubbornly rooted in Western Civilization. That can only mean they don’t go far enough in assessing the necessary changes. We use their materials as a mere starting point, having to find ways to right divide how much of it will pass the test of revelation. You have to engage that quantum moral reasoning to the whole thing. And God help you if you come to obedience and spiritual-moral awareness after you are already in a difficult marriage.
The one thing we do know is that we cannot stand idle, and we cannot simply swallow what others say. Each of us must find our own vision of God’s calling and build the house He designs for us individually.