If Only You Could See Me

In a textual atmosphere such as this blog, it’s hard to bring across the personality of the man behind the words. You get some of it, but it’s easy to misread.

I’m old and placid internally. The only time I get animated is when I’m clowning, sometimes mocking something in broad satire. Yes, I can be very loud at times, but only when I’m amused. When someone is trying to manipulate me in a conversation to buy into their phony agenda, I usually just refuse to respond. You’ve been around people who try to build a case for something they want the world to do with/for them. Only when they cross certain lines and interfere with my mission from God will I bellow and intimidate. That doesn’t happen here, so when you read the lines on this blog, picture someone who is generally affable and calm inside, always confident of his position. I’ll slip in some hyperbole now and then, some sarcasm to see if you’re paying attention. A little broad satire now and then, if only to amuse myself, but I suspect most of you catch onto that.

When I blather about conspiratorial doings, I’m still in a humorous cynical mode, not a frantic fearful activist mode. It’s not in dark threatening tones. It’s more of a, “Keep your running shoes on your feet and your eyes on the exit lanes. You might need to change direction quickly when they spring a surprise on us.” Meanwhile, bravely face the coming sorrows because that’s where God does His greatest miracles. I’m not spooked by much; I’ll wander into anyone’s haunted house. Hey! It’s an adventure!

This is the demeanor of Christian Mysticism. We are otherworldly, not just in philosophy, but in actual response. Follow me around and you’d know I’m often somewhere very far away inside my head. I sing a lot and I frequently converse with God when I’m not talking to someone in physical proximity. You’ll see my lips moving if you watch me. Sometimes I’m telling myself little stories, testing my very real heart-led reaction to something I’ve seen elsewhere, adjusting the storyline repeatedly to find the moral boundaries. It’s not that I can’t take useful action here and now, but that it’s obvious my whole purpose even in that strong action is to answer some very distant call that almost no one else around me can hear.

That’s the way I’m designed to behave. What’s your design?

About Ed Hurst

Disabled Veteran, prophet of God's Laws, Bible History teacher, wannabe writer, volunteer computer technician, cyclist, Social Science researcher
This entry was posted in personal and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to If Only You Could See Me

  1. forrealone says:

    I can see you! When I read your posts, I can see your thoughtful brow, your big old heart expanding and the words forming there speaking out through your keystrokes. My heart smiles and I read on. Living in the world, in these times, I only flinch when something hits close to home as it is in my nature or when some news item saddens or grieves me for the victims. Otherwise, I walk in peace amongst the turmoil.


  2. Christine says:

    “What’s your design?”

    Now that’s a good question! Thanks for the food for thought.


  3. Iain says:

    A Timex watch.


  4. Ed Hurst says:

    Yeah, takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’.


  5. Jay DiNitto says:

    I think too much. That’s not a pretense to excessive intelligence; I’m pretty average across the board (except for height…I’m slightly below the male average height). I just chase intellectual rabbit trails far down the line. The way I am is part of the reason why I despise the post-Enlightment positivism/scientism of today. No one can reach a satisfactory conclusion so high up the chain of causes. We just presume what our tribe should expect from us belief-wise and retrofit the logic behind it.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.