Dead or Alive

Why do you still live?

Yesterday was my gym workout at the park. It was excellent because I exceeded previous performances on everything. I even managed to sprint up a small but steep hill a few times; I’m trying to regain my previous short recovery time from things like wind-sprints.

When my beloved came home we went to a local eatery that someone recommended. They lied. It wasn’t particularly bad, just very generic and bland. That’s bad for a taco salad. It didn’t digest well, so I didn’t recover well from the workout. Since today was pretty cool on top of that, I just didn’t feel up to a long ride.

Besides, my beloved was hosting a baby shower, so it gave me an excuse to stay home and help her get the place cleaned up and move furniture around. Then I disappeared into my computer office and stayed out of the way while almost a dozen women did what they do at such gatherings. I watched a couple of documentaries on YouTube. I’m a big fan of geographical and historical stuff; it’s the only type of video I can tolerate for more than a few minutes.

Then they left and I helped to put everything back into our normal layout.

The military term “marking time” is a good metaphor for what I’m doing these days: marching in place and waiting for the next order to move. I’ve still got that rhythm going for some kind of mission.

I suppose no two of us would do it just the same, but I try to invest a little time each day in worship. For me that typically means turning on some worship music and humming or singing along. Just for fun, I’ve been working my baritone voice to hit bass notes I couldn’t reach before. Still, I do lose myself in some of the songs. That’s what worship is: losing yourself in something far bigger.

Do you suppose I’m just chasing a dream the will evaporate on the wind?

No one has to tell me that what I claim is coming has no basis in reason. Let’s remind ourselves that a conscienceless psychopath is often utterly rational. Some are more willing to tolerate upheaval than others, but their actions always make perfect sense to someone who can’t even grasp caring for another person. If this material existence is all there is, most psychopaths are better equipped to survive and prosper. Psychopaths exhibit choices that deny the existence of God and a conscience.

This not about me, but a desire to share something other people surely need. But more than that, it’s an overwhelming desire to please God. I wouldn’t care about others if it weren’t for the power of God in my convictions. He’s the One who built that fire of desire for a mission adventure. Without that, I wouldn’t likely bother with working out and trying to stay fit. I wouldn’t care about what kind of food is helping and what is hindering. I’d have gone nuts a long time ago.

I’d probably be dead by now.

About Ed Hurst

Disabled Veteran, prophet of God's Laws, Bible History teacher, wannabe writer, volunteer computer technician, cyclist, Social Science researcher
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